Okay, what the fuck is this?

I decided to check in to Advaliant after a couple of months of not running any of their offers. I managed to stumble across this absolute gem of an offer. I can only assume that it’s geo-targeted to America.

The niche? Anti-aging…for pets.

I shit you not. Check the link.

Petipaaws: Your Pet’s Gonna Live 30% Longer, Or Ya Money Back

Click here if you ain’t American.

I’m sorry but this takes the rebill business model to new lows. I can half understand the principle behind an anti-aging product for, you know, humans. Because Average Joe might just notice that he feels ten years lighter after popping a few pills. But your pet dog? How’s woof woof for a testimonial?

My favourite part of the landing page is this:

Try it risk free? YOU MEAN IF I POP THEM MYSELF MY PUPPY WILL LIVE FOREVER?

The thing that really boggles my mind is the idea that this product is actually being packaged in to a monthly rebill. I’m guessing the customer simply pays until his pet cops it, then cancels his credit card to get out of the monthly charges.

Please, somebody.

Define the criteria of a successful 30 day free trial when it comes to pets and anti-aging. Do I assume that if Rocky is still wagging his tail after four weeks, and still eating as per the norm, it’s been a raging success and he’s going to live forever?

I don’t know.

I do know that I’m going to promote it.

Sign up to Advaliant here and push your own anti-pet-death Resveratrol today.

It’s shit hot. 35 bucks per victim guaranteed.