By now, you are surely familiar with Finch’s twice-a-year, “I’m Moving to…” post.
I change plans faster than a badger in a honey maze. The latest twist should therefore come as no surprise.
Engagement raises a lot of ‘life questions’.
Questions such as:
Should I houseban Pinterest until the vows are exchanged?
Does she really think a herd of pink unicorns with chandeliers hanging from their bollocks are going to be available for catering?
Will I escape this wedding alive?
Holy shit, where are we going to live?
After much consultation, we were able to answer one of those questions.
Unfortunately, it did not bode well for a unicorn payday…
Our conclusion: Living in America sounds pretty cosy.
My Fascination with America
I fell in love with New York City when I visited in May. There’s something about Manhattan that captures your imagination.
If you are Felix Baumgartner, standing on the precipice, about to dive balls-deep in to the abyss, you would not be surprised – no, you would expect – gravity to tug you straight in to the heart of The Big Apple. It is a city that feels like the center of the universe.
And to many New Yorkers, that’s exactly what it is.
Even the dude selling hot dogs out of a broken cart gets to experience that rare sensation of the world revolving around him; tumbling skyscrapers in every direction, the buzz of something happening.
You come away from NYC feeling small, humble and a trifle shagged in the wallet. Victim of the tipping shakedown, aka “I’ve just wiped my arse using some of your toilet paper. Here’s ten bucks. Please — Don’t hustle me! I appreciate the service!”
While I won’t be moving to New York City straight away (We’ll be crash landing in the Midwest to build a house, if all goes to plan), I do want to make myself familiar with the bits of America that I haven’t already visited.
And that’s a good thing.
Besides New York, I have seen an abundance of corn and some Amish settlements. There has to be a middle ground, and I intend to find it.
Where should I visit?
Places on my To Visit list, in no particular order:
- San Francisco
- Las Vegas
- Jersey Shore (I’m interested to see if we’re the same species)
- Yellowstone Park
Yep, you could say my list resembles the tourist’s guide to ‘playing it safe like an unadventurous motherfucker‘. I’ve seen one too many motel slasherfest B-movies to chance my arm.
If you have any suggestions of awesome places to visit in America, hit me with them.
I’ll be taking a trip to Thailand next month. I’m hoping it suppresses my appetite for beach cocktails and chilis over breakfast. Christ knows, if I don’t get my hands on some Mango Sticky Rice soon, there’s no telling how many kittens will perish.
See you in another six months for news on my immigration to China.