My First Regrettable Acts of 2014

December 31st, just gone 1pm:

I’m enjoying a very small window of opportunity in No Man’s Land. The abyss between getting drunk and merely thinking about getting drunk.

No work today.

Today is my Sabbath.

I know a lot of affiliates are curiously teetotal. The idea of getting wankered is seen as a threat to one’s ability to make money online. Forgive me… for I am British.

And so, New Year’s Eve is my favourite night of the year.

Perhaps it’s the clean slate ahead.

The chance to wake up a new man on January 1st:

A pang of motivation, a bubble of new goals, the itch to get started.

But first… a roaring headache.

Desperate measures.

Taxi to Spoons.

All day breakfast. Nose an inch above the plate. Toast crumbs dribbled in beard. Don’t give a fuck. The Vodka shakes. What are these stamps on my hand? Taxi home. Feeling nuclear. One false step and I’ll blow.

An afternoon nap, swiftly interrupted. The sprint is on.

A bout of the shits.

Oh fuck, why Tequila?

Uncontrollable remorse.

An evening hangover, morose sorrow. Get walked by the dogs.

Eyeful of daggers for anybody in sight.

Home, sofa, primal groans.

A Recovery Twister:

The Recovery Twister

Miracles do happen.

The fog lifts, a haze departs – memories of Amsterdam – I’m… why am I drooling?

A calm wave of serenity.

A vision.

2014: I’m having you by the balls.

And in that priceless moment, just before ordering a savage Meat Feast and internally combusting once and for all, I really mean it.

Happy New Year, Affiliasphere.

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About the author

Finch
Finch

Hi, I’m Finch. A 26 year old high school dropout (slash academic failure) who makes a lot of money from the Internet.

  • Boyd

    Happy new year to u 2 :). Looking for more of your posts this year :)

  • Boyd

    BTW, are u gonna release new “Premium posts”?

  • JR

    hangover artsy philiosophical posts – ‘m lovin it xD you could do a spin-off blog -> AM for hipsters

  • FinchSells

    Possibly. I have a volume half-written. Most of my time is going on scaling campaigns at the moment. $$$ vs $. $$$ wins.

  • Marco

    Sorry, i’m OT but coul’d you write a post on TELEXFREE i know a lot of guys that they invest on it. plese tell us that is a scam like bb!

  • Sam

    Hi finch sells

    My banners account is in debt I have accepted I have lost my money but will I be made to pay the debt because I haven’t deleted the accout caught in a living nightmare help!!! Should I be worrying?

    Sam

  • http://blogprofitmedia.com/ Andy Baker

    Auction them off then :)

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