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I Have A Job, Swear!
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Don’t Buy Ebooks…Tell Me Your Name, Bitch!
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Manipulating The Human Brain For Financial Gain

I Have A Job, Swear!

This is something I’ve been meaning to write for a long time now. It’s something that I’ve held back from posting because I know it’s of little relevance to the majority of readers who have already found and established a successful living with affiliate marketing. But I’m hoping it’s something you can relate to in the attitudes of people outside our industry.

I’m frankly tired of explaining to people that my job equates to more than a hammock and a retirement plan.

If you’re reading this now and thinking “Well, this arrogant pom seems to be making a good living and he only ever tweets about his balls, I think I’ll do what he does” …well, you’re probably not alone. I’ve lost count of the number of occasions I’ve had to explain to family and friends that my success is the result of repeated failure. You can’t skip the failure part.

Friends often ask me if I could show them how I make money. Just give them a glimpse of what it is that I actually do that gives me the right to avoid a morning commute. Well, y’know, what would you like to see? The campaigns I can count on one hand that are actually making me money? Or the thousands that never worked out?

People don’t want to lose money and they only want to reap the benefits of a job that in reality, can be as simple as milking blood from a stone. It doesn’t help that every ebook under the sun is pointing to making money online being a rites of passage that you’d be a retard if you haven’t tapped in to yet. But some of my friends haven’t even seen the ebooks. They just assume I’m operating in a surreal home office straight out of cloud cuckoo land.

“So, what you do is pay for advertising, right? You buy leads and sell them on for more? If I give you £200 from my work wages, when do you think you can pay me back the £400?”

I shit you not. It sounds ridiculous, but I’ve been propositioned with these kind of “business proposals” time and time again since I became a full-time affiliate marketer. It’s a glaring example of the two misconceptions that annoy me most.

1. Money is the only reason for my success.
2. My hard work to pinpoint an opportunity is somebody else’s “dead cert” to bring home the bacon while they’re sat on their fat arses basically saying “Go, monkey, PROFIT”.

It’s got to the point where if I’m asked what I do for a living, I stop to think twice before answering that I traffick humans. Christ, it’s easier to explain and most people just don’t want to probe any further. Tell people you make money on the Internet at home, AT HOME, and they’re on you like the prom queen after two roofies.

I will honestly give anybody a fair chance, even if I don’t believe they’re cut out for the business. If somebody emails me looking for advice on how to get started, I’ll reply to them. If a friend asks me to watch over them while they create their first campaign, I’ll do it. But this isn’t an industry where one person’s success gives you an advantage in terms of avoiding failure.

I think we can all agree that one of the best aims in life is to be able to work smarter, not harder.

For many affiliate marketers, this is the reality. We’ve given up day jobs, broken free from the chains of a Monday-Friday 9-5. But fuck you if you think it came without sacrifice along the way.

Long before I quit my day job, I was working double shifts. I’d spend an entire day working in a London agency where you’d often be sniffed at for leaving on time at 5:30, then I’d go home and spend the rest of the night slaving away on my own. My weekends? If I wasn’t out socializing, I was working. The only reason I ever managed it was because to me, it was never really work. It was my passion and a step towards where I wanted to be.

People don’t see those steps. They see the end product. They might call round and find me sitting here in my lounge on a Tuesday afternoon, and to them it’s like a seismic mindfuck. How can they join the party? If affiliate marketing is such a piss in the park, how can they get started?

There’s one trait that nearly all successful affiliate marketers share. It’s the ability to see opportunity where others see only a bunch of pixels. I can’t stress this enough. I could take a friend’s hand and walk them through the many steps of preparing a successful marketing campaign. I could show them how to setup hosting, how to design an excellent landing page. I could even introduce them to my successful ad creatives. But what we can’t do is inject the same sense of opportunism.

I’m beginning to think the best way to strike a chord of reality with people is to ask them one question.

“If you never made a single penny with affiliate marketing, would you still enjoy it?”

It sounds ridiculous to think that any of us could enjoy a moneyless profession where the urge is always there to pull your own hair out. But for most affiliates, this is how it started. I remember receiving my first cheque for something like a hundred bucks and being over the moon. It wasn’t the money I cared about, it was the entrepreneurism of generating something out of nothing on my lonesome.

Would you feel the same? Do you care about the entrepreneurism or are you just in it for the quick cash? I can tell you one thing. Being an entrepreneur will kill you if it doesn’t thrill you. Some people just aren’t cut out for the stresses and strains. And believe me, there are plenty.

In my inbox, I have a bunch of emails starred from affiliates just getting started and wanting advice. I give them exactly the same pointers and yet some will enjoy success, while others will have to learn the hard way. It’s pretty much rooted to your own expectations and passions.

But you know what they say about the grass always being greener, right? If you’re stargazing at the apparently novel lifestyle of an affiliate marketer, ask him where he came from instead of where he is today. You’ll get a much more accurate depiction of what it takes to be doing this shit for the rest of your life.

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Don’t Buy Ebooks…Tell Me Your Name, Bitch!

Are you the kind of affiliate who shuns daylight, appears offline on AIM, never responds to emails and does everything he can to avoid conversing with the shadowy bastards known as his competitors?

We work in one of the most accessible industries imaginable. If you’re an affiliate marketer, you’re online. And if you’re a good one, your ego has probably exploded to the point where you’re not hard to find. I often wonder why newbies rush to buy ebooks from self appointed gurus when they could speak to those same gurus free of charge in the space of a basic AIM window.

Networking is free knowledge, ladies and gentleman. And yet it’s a subject that divides opinion for many marketers out there. Partly because it’s confused with the trait of time wasting, and those who do anything possible not to have to actually work.

For me, networking isn’t just a case of wanting to learn more about my industry. It’s an element of human interaction that I’ve missed since I jacked in my day job. While it’s pretty rare that you’ll find me piss-arsing my day away with idle chit chat on AIM, I do feel a regular need to speak to new people and to understand different paths that others have taken to find success in affiliate marketing.

But why is it important? Who would choose to spend an hour networking over the important split testing of their latest Facebook campaign?

If you’re the kind of tombraiding CPA urchin who makes his living through the constantly shifting dynamics of traffic arbitrage, then you definitely need to have an ear to the ground. Networking is your way of staying ahead. Much more so than the practical affiliate who develops long term projects with milestones stretching in to 2011 and a disregard for his daily ROI.

It’s tough for me to sit here and preach the importance of developing relationships. The popular word is that if you’ve stuck your weary eyes out of the rabbit hole long enough to engage in a 10 minute conversation on AIM, you’re simply not working hard enough. That’s bullshit. There can be no excuses for not taking a moment to integrate yourself with your peers, to seek out new business and to actually network with other like-minded individuals.

Oh and by the way. Some affiliates seem to preach to the crowd that they work 16 hour days, more or less Monday to Sunday. So they don’t have time to network. That’s real nice. But you do realize that just because you’re plugged in to the Internet and your modem is flashing, it doesn’t mean you’re actually working – right?

If your breakdown of a 16 hour day equates to 3 hours of keyword research followed by a WickedFire binge from lunch through to moonlight, then you’re probably not reaping the benefits that a dumbarse motherfucker “working” 112 hour weeks probably should. Your net working day can be established by subtracting “time spent chasing skirt on Facebook” from “hours spent building out campaigns”.

I am certainly not one to knock the hard working affiliates who strike through their to-do lists whether the wife has gone in to labour or not. It takes commitment and great discipline to stay focused on your goals. But without keeping an eye on your peers, you’ll never know how relevant those goals are to business success. Simply put, we work in an industry that evolves too quickly to be out of the loop.

Christ, I took a two week break not too long ago and the first thing I did upon rebooting my Mac was to Google search “is affiliate marketing still for real?”.

Networking and sharing knowledge means you’ll never have to buy another ebook in your life. Why? Because it puts you in touch with the REAL people of this industry. The people making money every day. The people making money before the lame ebooks have been outsourced for creation.

I like to think of it as a spider building his web. Broadening your horizons and spinning that web might not reveal any immediate benefits. You might even feel like you’re wasting your time while you could be out chasing after riches. I’ve certainly felt that sensation while aimlessly discussing Cheryl Cole’s sex appeal with Andrew Wee in the past. But when a knowledge bomb drops, when tomorrow’s big niche lands, you want to be there to catch it. And if you don’t make an effort to integrate yourself with real affiliate marketers, to reach in to every corner where opportunity might land – well…

You’ll be a hungry spider?

Yeah fuck that anecdote, it’s been a long day.

My point is that somewhere on the horizon, chugging towards your doorstep, is the same kind of gravy train that most of us were too slow to capitalize on in 2008 when it was loaded with acai berries. My excuse for missing out was simple. I didn’t really know about it. And by the time I did know about it, I was too late.

If you can establish working relationships with the right people in the right places, you WILL see that next gravy train coming. Whether you jump on for the ride is probably a matter of how intuitive you are.

The next time you find yourself stargazing at the promises of Mr Guru McBullshitsalot’s latest ebook, stop and think for a moment. Wouldn’t it be great if instead of buying a book that this smug bastard dreamed up six months ago when his methods actually worked…you could talk to him now and find out what he’s currently doing?

And there lies the power of networking with real affiliates. You will learn far more by simply being connected with the right people than you will by purchasing their products or reading their blogs. Make an effort to establish actual business relationships. Without them, you’re simply the pawn they’re trying to sell to or the sheep us bloggers like to write to.

Ready to start networking today?

Clearly the moral of the above post is that you’d be a retard if you didn’t follow me on Twitter.

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Manipulating The Human Brain For Financial Gain

One of my favourite books on marketing – and one that you’d be a fool not to own – is called Ca$hvertising. You’ve probably heard the title in passing mention. The book has an entire thread dedicated to it on WickedFire and I couldn’t possibly overstate how brilliant it is as a resource for affiliates.

Forget all the guru secret spilling bullshit that crosses your path. If you’re going to make one investment this week, snap up a copy of Ca$hvertising and learn some REAL marketing tricks that will actually serve you well in this industry.

In the book, you’ll find a section called “What People Really Want”, and it’s here that you’ll learn about the Life-Force 8.

The idea is simple. As human beings, we are all prisoners to our own instinctive desires. Those desires, Ca$hvertising’s so-called Life-Force 8, can be summed up as:

  • Survival, enjoyment of life, life extension.
  • Enjoyment of food and beverages.
  • Freedom from fear, pain and danger.
  • Sexual companionship.
  • Comfortable living conditions.
  • To be superior, winning, keeping up with the Joneses.
  • Care and protection of loved ones.
  • Social approval.

We cannot help ourselves from chasing these qualities in life. As marketers, our job becomes immeasurably easier when we realize that tapping in to those fundamental desires is the easiest and fastest way of selling a product.

So why do so many marketers get it wrong? For me, it traces back to the “Benefits vs. Features” argument. If you’ve educated yourself in the art of copywriting, you’ve already established that good writing sells the benefits of a product – not the features.

Nobody gives a shit that the acai berry diet is rich in antioxidants. People only care that the chemicals they’re chugging might possibly shave a couple of inches off their waistband, right? That’s your classic Benefits over Features argument. But I would argue that it doesn’t go far enough. And many affiliate marketers are guilty of this.

While we would all love to be ripped and chiseled like statues made from marble, you’re not selling hard enough if this is your only punchline. It’s a want rather than a need.

Being ripped must be great. But for stud muffins like yours truly – ahem – we are quite happy to look every bit of the nine pints we’ve drunk. Why? Because it doesn’t fuck with our deepest desires. Unless you’re spelling it out to me that I need to put the pint down right now or I’m not getting laid until 2018, getting ripped can wait til next week.

Forget the features of a product – and forget the benefits too. Focus on how you can ride the biological train of what human beings want most, and ride it all the way to the bank.

With the acai berry diet, it’s not a case that we want to be slim. These are secondary desires, symptoms of our greater needs. What might they be? It’s usually that we want to appear better looking to the opposite sex, or that we want to revel in the jealous glances when we bust out a washboard stomach on the beach. We want to be socially desirable and confident in our health.

How many times have you seen ads that preach “X can cause cancer”. I bet in that briefest moment, your brain judders and you think to yourself “Shit, I better think twice about X in the future…” It’s because we cannot help ourselves from reacting to ideas that compromise our integral desires. In this case, our biological desire to stay healthy and live a long life is enough to invoke a reaction. It might not last, but it still happens in our brains.

Which line is more effective to a red blooded male?

“Eating X is a proven method of losing weight, helping you stay in shape and get ripped in time for summer.”

“Only Eat X if you can handle the jealous stares at your ripped physique on the beach this summer. Girls just love guys who use our proven recipe. Shed the pounds and be the envy of your friends.”

90% of affiliates are happy with the first example. They assume that getting ripped is the real benefit of the product. It’s not. The second example tackles several biologically programmed desires in every male. We can’t escape them. The reader is living those words in his head. Did you see yourself on a beach surrounded by adoring female faces?

As marketers, there is no greater weapon than the ability to write copy that drives daggers through the reader’s innermost conscience. Ca$hvertising states the importance of using positive imagery with your writing. And I agree, it’s probably the single most effective copywriting technique you’re ever going to master.

Picture the most satisfied customer imaginable in your head. See how positively they’ve been affected by your product and then write copy that FORCES your reader to live those scenes for themselves.

I’m willing to bet that if you take the time to look over your recent landing pages, you will find numerous examples of weak selling. Instances where you’ve assumed that your job is already done when the prospect lands on your page. Great marketers understand that the human brain is fickle. And to sell a product, you sometimes have to stir the right emotions to ignite a response.

No matter whether you’re selling car insurance, dating websites or the latest “get ripped fast” recipe – you will always enjoy more success when you adapt the benefits of the product to appeal to our biological human desires.

Don’t just plant vague ideas and product benefits in the reader’s head. The reader will always analyze them negatively until he has a reason not to buy. Force vivid imagery that inspires them to answer their own questions positively. It sounds so simple and yet it works so well.

Interested in more language secrets?

You can grab a copy of Ca$hvertising for less than $10 on Amazon. I’m not usually one to recommend spending money on guru products, but this isn’t a guru product. It’s simply a fantastic read which will improve your fundamental marketing skills. If you don’t have it, slap yourself in the balls and go get it.

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