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One Website That Launched My Career
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The 7 Deadly Sins of Dating Ads
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The Best Viral Campaign Ever?

One Website That Launched My Career

A common trait you will find in many online professionals is the background of being self-taught. It’s something we seem to be very proud of, a sort of retrospective fuck you to academia.

Perhaps the single greatest appeal, and challenge, of making a living online, is the ease of which you can get started. There’s no degree necessary, no interview process, and each individual takes on full responsibility for his or her self.

We should consider ourselves lucky that money can be made with just a modem and a little common sense.

Unfortunately, modems are in heavy supply. And so is the number of would-be entrepreneurs who think they have what it takes to make a living online. It appears that some people are better at self-teaching than others.

I made the decision when I was just 16 years old that I wanted to run my own business. It didn’t happen overnight, and thank god it didn’t. I was a trainwreck through the mid 2000s. After dropping out from school, I spent the next 18 months lurching from one disasterous idea to the next – both in my personal life, and professionally.

When Facebook Timeline is released, don’t be surprised if 2004-2007 is obliterated from my records. It already has been in my head.

My only other job to that point was a 3 month stint at Wickes in Hayes. If God decided to stick the vacuum in the arse end of society, he would probably start with Hayes. It’s a genuinely ugly place.

I wanted my own business, and I wanted to work online. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my days surfing double decker buses straight out of a stabbing scene on the Uxbridge Road.

There aren’t many IT companies that would take on an 18 year old who dropped out of school, and the IT industry was where I saw my future. So I had to develop experience and knowledge on my lonesome.

Private classes were expensive (Baker Street, London…ouch) and they still left me short on opportunities. I went to a couple of job interviews but was finding myself squeezed out of the reckoning. Too young, not enough drive, bad haircut, whatever. I think the most I had going for myself was a strange immunity to taking it personally.

That’s when I stumbled across VTC, a plain looking site that may have just saved my career when it was threatening to flatline.

If you’re going to get a headstart on the kids attending university, you really need information and training materials for your chosen profession. And lots of them.

Back then, when I discovered VTC, it was like hitting the jackpot.

VTC has over 98000 tutorials covering almost every programming language, application or software you’re ever likely to use. For anybody with web development tingling their taste buds, it’s an excellent one stop resource where you can learn as many basics as you can put your mind to.

Eventually my crazy self-teaching binge paid off and I was able to capture a junior web developer job on the back of my portfolio (and probably my desire to learn).

Two years later and I was hired by an agency in Central London, again as the youngest employee in the company. I stayed there for 15 months before quitting to go full-time with my affiliate business. It wasn’t a particularly researched decision. I woke up one morning, checked my affiliate stats, saw my first day of £1000 profit and that was that. Au revoir, mon petit 9 to 5.

I was 21 when I made that jump, right in the middle of the recession. While many of my friends were still labouring through University, I felt an enormous weight of gratitude towards that one site – VTC – which gave me the tools to burst in to an industry that I was a complete virgin to.

If you have the right attitude, the Internet typically has the right resources to launch your career. Remember though, self-teaching is only an option if you have the discipline to execute a kick to your own balls when you deserve one.

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The 7 Deadly Sins of Dating Ads

I remain convinced that most dating affiliates lack the balls to really get aggressive with their advertising efforts.

Why is it important to be aggressive?

Remember this. If you’re in the dating niche, you’re not marketing to the trendsetters and early adopters. You’re marketing to the crusty old goats who have had many chances to register before, and have found many reasons not to bother.

Why do you suppose the 600+ login crowd on Plentyoffish is deemed to be low quality traffic? It’s mainly because such users have had the chance to be converted, and the moment has passed.

You have to be aggressive if you hope to enter such a competitive market and walk away with conversions.

For that purpose, I’m going to suggest you sit back and watch Se7en – a masterpiece of filmmaking and one of my favourite movies of all time.

No, I’m not implying that all of your dating creatives should be littered with quotes and photos of Brad Pitt. It’s the seven deadly sins that I’m interested in exploring. These sins provide valuable angles that we can use to get aggressive with our marketing efforts.

There’s a sinner in each and every one of us. And if you match the right pair of eyeballs to the right angle, your hopes of a conversion will rocket so far through the sky that you’ll begin to wonder why you wasted so much time spunking dollars on that whimsical “Oh hello darling, come join my dating site, It’s free” bullshit.

Who do you think you are? Hugo from Made in Chelsea?

Most dating affiliates seem to be experts in pandering to the proletarians, while the successful guys are busy exploiting them. That may be a cynical attitude towards life, but forgive me, I’m a cynical bastard and it’s early in the morning.

Converting Users with The 7 Deadly Sins

I’ve replaced lust from the list. If you can’t see a way to use lust to your advantage on a dating site, it’s probably time to find another niche.

Sloth

Many singles have legitimate reasons for not meeting enough members of the opposite sex. Socially accepted reason #1 is “Oh, I never get time to socialise outside work.” For these users, frank and to the point is the way. A sloth responds to instant results.

Sloth sin

Greed

Dating sites give keyboard charmers the opportunity to test-drive seduction techniques on large samples of women. No keyboard charmer can resist the chance to message as many women as his Sent box can handle, even when he’s found one he likes.

Online dating to a man, is what Pick ‘n’ Mix was to Finch as a child.

Greed sin

Envy

Envy is a natural by-product of dating sites where the women are severely outnumbered by guys actively messaging them. A lot of men are competing with each other, and as we all know, men don’t compete with each other particularly well.

Envy sin

Acedia

Acedia is the overwhelming feeling of listlessness. Which is how a lot of singles feel about their love lives when making the decision to join a dating site.

Acedia sin

Pride

Pride is the most dangerous sin of all, and it goes hand in hand with bitterness – one of my favourite cards to play when advertising a dating site. If a man’s pride is at stake, persuasion is simply a case of channeling the raw inevitable. Perrrfect for recent divorcees.

Wrath

Dating sites can be infuriating for Alpha Males who aren’t used to dealing with women who have the time and space to say “No!” to their relentless advances.

Wrath sin

Gluttony

Okay, we’re pushing it. When I came up with the idea of this post, I forgot that one of the 7 deadly sins involves eating too much. Forgive me if this example gets you banished from multiple advertising platforms in one hit.

Gluttony sin

Vanity

Vanity is a quality nestled in just about every idiot who ever joined Plentyoffish and posted a small essay to justify something as retarded as his favourite colour. Those users who post endless surveys in the style of this or that? Yep, you know who I’m talking about. It’s a textbook exercise in the art of convincing yourself that somebody gives a crap.

Vanity sin

Disclaimer: I will leave it down to you guys to interpret and replace the sarcasm in each ad. It’s my new way of punishing the guys who rip ads word for word.

To summarise…

Because a post like this needs a summary to actually have a point.

Airy fairy dating ads that throw out broad headlines such as “Want a Girlfriend?” may have worked in 2009, but times have changed and it’s time for you to evolve or get out of the game.

I encourage anybody who has anything to do with dating, or Plentyoffish, or affiliate marketing in general, to check out this month’s Premium Posts. They will point you further in the right direction.

Recommended This Week

The Best Viral Campaign Ever?

Thanks to @paulsavage for drawing this to my attention on Twitter.

I tend not to pay too much attention to auto insurance campaigns. That changed this morning when I stumbled across the excellent State of Chaos mini-site that will shortly be doing the rounds.

This year’s blockbuster on your block, is the gimmick.

Simply enter your street name, load up the video and watch in awe as destruction descends upon your town – courtesy of some innovative and highly effective Google Maps integration.

I’ve included my town below. Anybody who can guess the location wins the right to be referred to as culturally fucking awesome for the rest of the year.

State of Chaos

Oh, the quaint British suburbs…

Chaos in your town

I won’t be taking out an insurance policy with State Farm anytime soon, but this is an excellent example of how to use social media and technology to your brand’s advantage. Very good job indeed.

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