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Retire At 21, Feel Like An Idiot At 22
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Make More Money… By Not Being An Unhealthy Bastard
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Enhance Your Creativity With Binaural Beats

Retire At 21, Feel Like An Idiot At 22

Dear Trusty Employees,

It is with great sadness that I announce my impending departure from our Company. I have decided to retire from all business so that I can put my feet up in the leafy suburbs, desperately attempting to convince myself that there’s more to life than work.

I’m sure you will have many questions. Why now? Why so young?

Please accept my decision. It shows that I’ve achieved more than you in a shorter space of time.

I am greatly looking forward to tackling the next challenge in my life: puberty.

Yours truly,
Young Retired Dipshit

Many people consider retirement the reward for a lifetime of turmoil. It’s the bucket of gold at the end of the rainbow. The day of reckoning when we can say “I’ve done my bit“, and stop worrying about surviving from one pay cheque to the next.

The Internet age has spawned a generation of online entrepreneurs who are capable of retiring in their 20s. Does Mark Zuckerberg need to worry about his financial future? I suppose he does if he likes to keep track of his billions.

Even though Zuckerberg can retire, I’m positive he won’t. And there’s good reason for that sentiment.

The next step after retirement is death.

Who would want to retire in their 20s? The idea gets bounced around with prestige and glamour. There are websites dedicated to the ambition of retiring young, but I shudder to imagine how somebody capable of assembling the finances so young would react to the transition of pottering around a garden and writing Christmas cards in September.

It’s a paradox if ever I heard one.

When you have nothing left to work for, you have nothing left to live for. Anybody who believes otherwise might as well go hang out with Macaulay Culkin. Smoke some pot, watch Home Alone 2 and revel in your own waste of potential.

Time and time again, I have friends cross-examining me on the nature of my work. In their eyes, I’m retired. I make money online, which is as good as twatting around on Facebook while the dollar bills grow in my fridge, right? They’re wrong.

Even though I work in comfort, there’s rarely a second in the day where work isn’t close to my thoughts. It follows me around like an infection that just won’t shake, so why don’t I learn to forget about work and switch off? It’s simple. I don’t see work as a bad thing.

If you take a human being and strip him of his desire to work towards a goal, what do you have left? An empty shell that’s retired and ready for death. There isn’t much of the person left over.

Work doesn’t have to be employment as you and I know it. It can be charity-based volunteering, or even just a commitment to stay busy. However, the retirement yearned for at unhappy office cubicles is no more than a desire to believe the grass is greener on the other side. It rarely is, and retirement is seldom the experience you crave.

What you really desire is work that you can believe in. You want to spend energy completing tasks where you give half a shit about the end result. Who doesn’t? This is the great illusion of retirement. Giving up a mundane chore isn’t going to fill the void in your life. That void exists because you haven’t felt the passion to get out of bed at 8am out of choice.

If financial independence was all we longed for, millionaires would be happy and averagely paid employees would be jumping from office blocks. Happiness is not a flexible hours agreement, or retirement altogether. It’s the desire to get out of bed. To do something with your plain existence and convince yourself that retirement would only get in the way of all the things you have left to prove.

If that means changing career, go right ahead. We spend a third of our lifetimes at work, or thinking about it, so it makes zero sense to be working for the wrong reasons. The day you wake up and don’t feel an urge to work towards a goal, that’s when you have problems. That’s when retirement will become the death of you.

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Make More Money… By Not Being An Unhealthy Bastard

As far as case studies go, this probably isn’t going to win any awards for innovation.

A few weeks ago, I decided to change my life for the better. I knew that it was time to look myself in the mirror, face up to the truth and ask “Finch, you unhealthy bastard, do you want to be a stud muffin or just a slob who ate all the muffins?

By saying adios to junk food, crappy eating and lack of sleep, I theorized I could create a lifestyle change that would snowball in to something resembling vitality and full health. This, in turn, would allow me to thrive in the workplace with optimal levels of concentration and focus.

The ultimate goal was an improvement in mind, body and spirit. It was time to say “kiss my balls” to the unhealthy bastard in the mirror, Michael Jackson-style, minus the unhealthy interest in kids.

The Challenge

I spent days, literally days, hunched over a laptop in Cambodia researching the best possible diet to give my body a healing rest from it’s regular abuse. Detoxing is a controversial subject. It’s very hard to strike a balance between listening to the raw food psychopaths who’ll give you dirty scowls for even glancing at a cow in the wrong way, and the All-American Americans who believe eating an entire livestock of chickens isn’t just a delicious choice, but what the chickens wanted.

I decided on a 4 day fruit detox, followed by a slightly more lenient diet that would be more sustainable for my non-commital ass in the long run. Minimal processed foods, minimal caffeine, no added salts and sugars.

I haven’t tasted alcohol for over 6 weeks now, so that was never a problem. No doubt my tolerance will be tested when I return to London, however.

Surviving The Detox

For those of you who haven’t tried a fruit detox, the first effects are typically a raging headache and the growing despair that life is not worth living. “How am I to survive if I don’t find a kitten to kill soon?

Detox symptoms vary from person to person. The heavier the symptoms, the more toxins you’ve accumulated in your body that are struggling to come out.

What follows is a detoxing process known as “retracing”. This is where your body undergoes the strange sensation of re-experiencing recent illnesses and weaknesses. If you didn’t know any better, you’d assume that the detox is adding to your woes rather than working for the greater good. But it’s all part of the recovery so don’t go quitting while the going is tough.

Your body is actually flushing harmful toxins in to your bloodstream at a rapid rate, much faster than the body can dispose of. The toxin-filled blood rushes to the brain and creates a surreal sensation where you experience many different pains and illness symptoms in short bursts.

The symptoms were always there. But it’s only when your body is in “recovery mode” that the organs can actually deal with them. Of course, this triggers the instinctive “I feel worse than when I started. Somebody get me a burger. Cheeseburger. Shit, it’s getting worse. Get me some extra cheese with that…

This period of headaches, fatigue, volatile stomach reactions and irritability lasted for a couple of days on my detox. Caffeine withdrawals can lead to massive headaches, and if you like your sugar – which I don’t – you’re also going to suffer. My longing for food with meaty texture almost lead to the butchering of a gecko outside my hotel room. It’s not easy to fight your cravings under a barrage of physical aches and pains.

But when the symptoms begin to pass, and here’s the big incentive, you truly do feel a million times better than you did before. Your body begins to accept and use the nutrients of the fruit to your advantage, unleashing enormous swirls of energy and a sense of clarity the likes of which I’m still wondering how I ever did without before.

It probably helped that my detox was aided by an endless supply of fresh coconut and grapefruit juice, two of the most renowned superfruits in the world. I have since re-introduced lean meats in to my diet, but never at the expense of leafy greens and an overcompensation of fruits. I’ve replaced alcohol with smoothies, diet coke with water, and coffee with green tea. The effects are here for me to see, and I’m very happy with them.

33% Diet, 33% Exercise, 33% Rest

No healthy lifestyle can be sustained by simply eating the right foods. It’s just as important to exercise and get a sufficient amount of sleep. Even though I have a gym and swimming pool downstairs, I’ve often found my work “too pressing” to find time to exercise as much as I should have. That is changing by simply forcing a work-out in to my daily schedule, no matter how many servers are crashing and burning around me at the time.

My sleeping habits, ironically, were fixed when I started my detox. The overwhelming fatigue that I felt after a few days of eating only fruit was enough to get my body clock back on track. The sensation of waking up naturally at 8am, fresh, energised and blessed with clarity is a million miles from how I felt just two months ago. Then I would slip out of the bedroom at 1pm, feeling just as lethargic as I had when my body finally passed out the night before.

A good sleeping pattern makes such a huge difference to what I feel capable of achieving in a day, and certainly to my attention span while I’m trying to achieve it.

Many entrepreneurs argue that they’re “not morning people” and work most efficiently at night. While this may be true for some, I would bet that the majority are simply closet insomniacs making the best out of a bad situation.

Finch’s Sickly Generic Final Thoughts

Striving for a healthy lifestyle isn’t something that should be born out of wanting to make more money. There’s no point in stacking towers of dollar bills if you don’t have the health and peace of mind to enjoy them. This is something I have struggled and grappled with for a while.

I see it as a common trait of young entrepreneurs. We have so much money, and such little sense of value. If your work ethic is harming your health, the only future you’re contributing to is your own self-destruction.

While I can say that the changes definitely did improve my focus, concentration and work productivity, these are secondary to the satisfaction that came from looking after myself and actually feeling a sense of working with my body, rather than dragging it kicking and screaming through the night against it’s will.

Western society, particularly America, is riddled with quick fix cures for conditions that can’t possibly heal with the popping of a pill. Papering over cracks is the term that springs to mind. But that doesn’t stop people from trying. Many of us will find any excuse, or quick fix, to continue living unhealthily, until it becomes impossible through the damage we’ve already inflicted to ourselves.

If you’re going to try a detox followed by a change in lifestyle, be prepared for several days of complete and utter Hell. It gets a lot worse before it starts to get better.

Be truthful with yourself, get educated, and find ways to cut out the crap that’s holding you back. Your mind and body will reward you by working at their full potential. And if you’ve been operating “half-arsed” for as long as I had, this can feel like an incredible burden lifted.

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  • Check out Filthy Rich Mind, a brand new project I’m collaborating on with a couple of other writers in the self-improvement market. It’s a fun project and if you like off-the-wall advice for improving your lifestyle, subscribe here for updates.

  • And, of course, don’t forget to subscribe to this blog too if you haven’t already done so. Love you long time. C’est vrai, c’est vrai.

Enhance Your Creativity With Binaural Beats

White noise is something I rely on enormously as a way of channeling my focus and getting work done at home. You could probably guess this by my last post, or by the endless endorsements on Twitter. It’s something I genuinely believe in. Some of you are now fans of SimplyNoise.com, while others I’m sure will remain skeptical.

When I discovered the benefits of white noise, it got me extremely interested in how the brain could respond differently to various audio signals. I inevitably found myself researching the controversial subject of binaural beats. Before you judge that I’ve disappeared up my own arsehole in to a world of mystical hyperbole, allow me to explain.

So… what the Scooby are binaural beats?

Binaural beats have divided mainstream and scientific opinion for a long time. They were discovered in 1839 by a dude called Heinrich Wilhelm Dove, who was clearly meant to be a scientist from the second he was named.

Heinrich determined that by playing two audio tones at slightly different frequencies, the brain could be lured in to any number of artificial states by what’s known as the entrainment of brainwaves. If I sound like I’m speaking with a Wikipedia tab loaded by my side, it’s because I am.

By tapping in to the right frequencies, it’s argued that your brain can be induced in to one of many subconscious states. You may feel anything from surges of creativity, supreme focus, states of healing to even telepathic understanding. Now whether you believe this shit or not, it doesn’t really matter. As somebody who investigated the effects for himself, I can say that I’ve found enough common ground to keep myself intrigued.

If you listen to this binaural beats sample, you’ll get an idea for what they actually sound like. Now in terms of raw beauty, Regina Spektor it most certainly ain’t. I should point out that headphones are a must. You can’t expect binaural beats to be effective if you don’t have a good pair of headphones to funnel the frequencies through each ear without crossover.

There are thousands of binaural beats scattered around the Internet. Some are free, some are not. Each beat is crafted to create a shift in consciousness to a desired state. For the self-help freaks reading this, you’ll find a binaural beat for practically every state imaginable. Whether it’s giving up smoking, losing weight or improving your work ethic, sites like The Unexplainable Store have a beat for the occasion.

It would be easy to dismiss these websites as manipulators of unproven science for financial gain. But there truly is a great deal of confusion over just how influential these beats can be. Not too long ago, they were the source of a media backlash dubbing them illegal narcotics.

Personally, I don’t want to oversell what binaural beats may or may not be able to do for you. I believe the effects are psychological and unique to the individual, in such a way that science has no reliable method of classifying them.

If you’ve ever read The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, you are probably familiar with the idea that your state of mind determines the exact environment around you. There is very little concrete scientific proof of how binaural beats can produce identifiable changes in your life. But if your state of mind is right, it’s highly probable that science is still playing catch-up.

All I know is that I’ve extracted a great deal of productivity since trading Spotify for these looping beats. There are many free binaural beats that you can sample for yourself, and if you liked the white noise post, I suggest you check them out!

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