1
My Rocky Relationship With SEO Is Over
2
The Batshit Crazy World Of Fiverr
3
Entrepreneurs Who Still Manage To Suck At Life

My Rocky Relationship With SEO Is Over

It was a hot sweaty night in the land of Finch. The clock was ticking past 2am. My eyes were starting to strain from the glare of WickedFire’s traffic generation section. I had logged in with the intention of learning from the best to improve my SEO game. If you want to build long term assets, you need to rank well on Google, right?

Somewhere between reading about link wheels and staring dumbly at pyramid diagrams, the realization dawned on me. I fucking hate SEO.

If we’ve reached a tipping point where your success is determined by the number of Squidoo hub pages you’ve got passing link juice through to your money site, I would rather just forget about it completely. I’m sure if I sat here long enough, I could automate a script to dramatically increase the number of backlinks pumping through to my site. But beyond satisfying a phantom algorithm somewhere in Google’s underbelly, what exactly am I doing? I’m a fucking pawn in somebody else’s system.

In my opinion, the SEO brigade are deluded when they say that developing these naturally high-ranking sites is a long term business plan. I’m not going to deny that it’s incredibly lucrative. But long term? If your methodology is based on the science of link profiles, you don’t have squat diddly to bank your house on. SEO is just as volatile as any PPC campaign.

And as I sat there in the recess of the night, scratching my chin and scrolling through page after page on WickedFire, it really dawned on me that so much of what marketers do is complete and utter bullshit. It’s clever bullshit, don’t get me wrong. But I can’t help feeling that there’s more money in being the system, rather than trying to game one.

Over the last couple of months, my focus has shifted away from SEO. The safest way forward for affiliate marketers isn’t to learn advanced SEO or to become a wizard with a traffic source. Branding is everything. If you can develop assets that stand on their own two feet and command readership through the quality of the content alone, THAT is the only thing that can be deemed “long term” in this industry.

The problem with building a brand is that it’s an art best left to those who know shit about the subject matter. I’ve found it very easy to build a brand for this affiliate marketing blog, because that’s what I do. I can relate to affiliates and I can write in a way that strikes a chord with them. But if you asked me to write a blog about shoes or the process of learning a second language, I’d have my work cut out.

Many affiliates suffer from this. We want to monetize every niche, but we don’t know where to start when it comes to writing about topics that have no relevance to us. We end up with half arsed sites, branded as sloppily as a squashed lemon, and articles that’ve blatantly been slapped together by some copywriter who’s only interest is stretching his 437 word count past the 500 mark.

Outsourcing is one of those buzz words that sounds smart. Fuck yeah, I can hire some housewife to write me 20 articles for a hundred bucks. Invariably, you end up with a website that strikes a tick next to the proverbial mutton dressed as lamb box.

The reality is that if you want to become an authority in your niche, without the indefinite nature of SEO or PPC, you have to pay the premium.

Hire passionate people to write about topics they can spark to life with their own knowledge. I’ve gone from selecting the best value bidder on Elance, to selecting the candidate who has slightly sketchier grammar but loves the niche I’m trying to break in to. Inevitably, you’ll be able to publish content that looks less like minimum wage slave labour.

Affiliate marketers are untouchable when it comes to monetizing traffic. No agency or worldwide company can lay a finger on the creativity and innovation that some of us possess. But we’re also responsible for publishing some of the biggest piles of steaming bullshit ever to be labeled “articles”.

I think the way forward in 2010 is to develop websites that other affiliates would pay a premium to advertise on. Be the system, don’t be part of it.

Connect to me, baby

Do you have a UK based blog covering similar themes to this site? I’m currently looking for guest posting opportunities. If you’d be interested in letting me post a piece for your site, please get in touch via email.

Looking for more affiliate advice? Want to read the 140 character drivel of somebody who actually makes money on the Internet? Follow me on Twitter. If you haven’t already subjected yourself to enough of my bullshit, please feel free to add me to your RSS

The Batshit Crazy World Of Fiverr

Just a few weeks ago, I received a message about the merits of Fiverr.com as an option for outsourcing the shit that I’d normally be too embarrassed to outsource.

The Fiverr concept is simple. What would you do for five dollars? Given that my blog readership, according to Alexa, is stay-at-home males earning over $100,000/year, my guess is probably not a lot. I could hand you five dollars and you’d probably wipe your ass with it, buy a Justin Dupre LP, burn a month’s worth of traffic on Friendster…or whatever.

Five dollars is nothing to an affiliate. But unsurprisingly in the climate we live in, there are a lot of college students out there who will do some crazy ass shit for five bucks. They won’t even think twice about it. And after spending just five minutes browsing through the weird and wonderful listings on Fiverr, your little affiliate nostrils should be standing on end from the waft of opportunity.

Fiverr is a wet dream for cheap monkey labour.

I have no idea how we reached the subject, but just last night over dinner, my girlfriend was telling me how she’d used Fiverr to send some poor bastard to college with the link to her fashion blog pasted on his head. Literally, scribbled across his forehead. It only cost her $5 for the cranium-based plug, but how many eyeballs would it reach? There can’t be too many college kids going to class with a website scribbled across their face.

Now upon inspection, you’re going to find that a lot of Fiverr is somewhat retarded. There are freeloaders looking to make a fast buck by selling you things like “A poem for your sweetheart, just $5!”. Well, I’m sorry, but if this is the sort of thing you’d buy, I pray that you be scammed until the cows come home.

Dig a little deeper and you’ll see a few interesting proposals like this:

Offline marketing

This dude is willing to get off his ass and deliver your fliers across a city in the name of five bucks. How much do you get paid for the average dating lead?

I was linked to a very interesting article by Phillian on Twitter about a company that built an entire empire with lawn signs. If you haven’t read the story, you really need to. It’s a classic example of how offline marketing can be executed quietly and effectively for insane riches. I haven’t delved too deeply in to these possibilities on a personal level, but one look at Fiverr and it gets the mind racing.

I see countless opportunities every day to advertise across campus sites and reach hundreds of eyeballs. One particular member is happy to pin your flyer to twenty different noticeboards across a university site. And for just five dollars? Well, you don’t need me to do the maths for you.

It’s not just cheap plugging that Fiverr is good for. Take a look through the category listings and you’ll see plenty of opportunities for grabbing cheap audio soundbytes, professional looking videos and christ knows what else.

I was particularly interested in the audio voiceover offers. Pay $5 and you can have some raspy sounding stud muffin spit out your acai berry transcript with the audio eloquence of Michael Buffer in his youth. Anybody who does PPV should be able to relate to the trend that landing pages with audio tracks are MUCH more effective at capturing the user’s attention. Unfortunately my accent is far too English to get away with recording homemade soundbytes. I resemble a sort of lobotomized robot from outer space to the average American ears. It would capture their attention for all the wrong reasons.

For other affiliates, there are opportunities on Fiverr to snap up legal and customized dating images. Some women are happy to accept $5 to take a picture of themselves holding a sign in front of some low budget webcam.

I doubt it’ll be too long before some poor bitch is forced to smile at her reflection of “Looking For 25-30 Year Old Guys”.

I guess all you need to know about Fiverr is that it’s a mixed bag. You will find money stealing scammers, no doubt. But you’ll also find some creative souls without a penny to their names who will do some good work for five bucks. And failing that, you’ll find some willing slaves ideal for the donkey work you’d normally have signed, sealed and delivered straight to a hut in Venezuela.

Check it out and see what you can find.

Connect to me, baby

Do you have a UK based blog covering similar themes to this site? I’m currently looking for guest posting opportunities. If you’d be interested in letting me post a piece for your site, please get in touch via email.

Looking for more affiliate advice? Want to read the 140 character drivel of somebody who actually makes money on the Internet? Follow me on Twitter.

Entrepreneurs Who Still Manage To Suck At Life

I’ve just got done reading an article over on John Chow’s blog about why you suck if you don’t want to become an entrepreneur. I was left so cold by this relentless drivel that I felt compelled to write my own piece on the subject.

The basic gist of the article, when I break it down in to three points is this:

1. The farmer’s son will grow up to be a farmer, and the banker’s son will grow up to be a banker.
2. It’s the farmer’s fault that his son takes this “unsuccessful” path.
3. Everybody should chase the American Dream of being an entrepreneur since money and financial freedom are at the core of happiness.

And from these assumptions, I’ve developed my own assessment of the guest poster:

1. He thinks people without father figures have no right to grow up to be anything at all.
2. He doesn’t need farmers. I’m guessing he spunks in his coffee and eats his own bullshit brand cheeseburgers for lunch.
3. He’s young and naive, or young and shallow. I can’t decide.

There is nothing I hate more in an entrepreneur than the attitude that they’ve found the only path leading to happiness in life. It’s complete and utter bullshit. You don’t have to be rich, famous and wiping your arse with dollar bills to be considered a success. The sheer idea that quitting college and setting up your own business is the BEST option for youngsters just leaves me shaking my head and itching for a facepalm.

Personally speaking, that’s exactly what I’ve done. I dropped out of college at 16, quit my day job as soon as I could and started my own business. Well whoopty fucking doo for me, unfortunately my autobiography would never make for the soundest advice to other young adults out there. Because everybody is different and there are many ways to skin the cat we call life.

I know through answering emails that I have people reading this blog who come from vastly different walks of life to myself. I’ve spoken to other affiliates and entrepreneurs. But also to lawyers, web designers, journalists, car mechanics and even hair stylists. Many people are interested in getting in to affiliate marketing – or simply reading about it – but it doesn’t mean we as affiliates are anymore likely to end up happy and successful.

And yet many entrepreneurs, young and naive like this guy, will talk down on those hard working individuals who haven’t plied their craft in to building something for themselves. Most of the people I speak to about affiliate marketing don’t even want to! They’d just like to make a bit of money on the side while they chase their dreams of becoming a doctor, a musician, an actor…or whatever.

I’ve yet to find a qualified professional with a degree or an academic background who’s felt the need to turn round to me and say “Damn Finch, I wish I’d dropped out of school at 16 like you”. Or even better yet, as this guy seems to be suggesting: “I wish I’d studied at home on the Internet instead of going to university.”

He paints a picture of doom and gloom for any kid born in to a farmer’s family. And yet he completely neglects that a farmer’s son doesn’t grow up idolizing the corporate banker or the successful entrepreneur. He grows up proud to be what he is. His dreams and interpretations of success defined by those around him. There’s a little thing called “appreciating where we came from”. And it doesn’t matter if you’re a successful entrepreneur, there are people out there who are just as happy living under completely different circumstances.

Yes, we should all aspire to gain more “financial knowledge” or whatever this dude is smoking. But financial knowledge, or being sensible with money – as I’d like to assume he’s trying to imply – doesn’t depend on how much actual bloody money you have. I know people who have had thousands handed to them and they’ve blown it recklessly. At the same time I know people surviving on pennies and pounds who couldn’t be any happier with the direction they’re heading.

It all comes down to personal ambition and more importantly, staying humble enough to appreciate that your own journey isn’t the only one that matters. Or works.

The sheer notion of “money = success” is enough to tell me that the guy who posted this nonsense hasn’t really lived. It’s the juvenile talk of a young entrepreneur who understands how to make money, but has no understanding of it’s worth. I make more money than all of my friends but no matter how many notes I add to my bank vault, I’d expect my success to be judged by how happy I am in an empty room.

Some people are born to be entrepreneurs. Some people are born to be team players. But until you show me such a thing as a one man economy, it’s pretty clear that one can’t exist without the other. I don’t think it truly matters what you choose to become, only that you get up in the morning with a reason to be.

Connect to me, baby

Do you have a UK based blog covering similar themes to this site? I’m currently looking for guest posting opportunities. If you’d be interested in letting me post a piece for your site, please get in touch via email.

Looking for more affiliate advice? Want to read the 140 character drivel of somebody who actually makes money on the Internet? Follow me on Twitter.

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