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Why I’m Trading London For Thailand
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Creating High Demand With A Fake Error Page
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Are You Telling Or Are You Selling?

Why I’m Trading London For Thailand

The great appeal of affiliate marketing, besides scratching my balls in bed at 10am, is undoubtedly the ability to do my work anytime anyplace anywhere. For 18 months now, I’ve been preaching the harsh realities of running your own business. How the dream is not always what it’s cracked up to be. How it takes hard work, a lot of patience and no end of creativity to remain successful.

Well, it’s easy for me to sell the problems. But what about the rewards?

Make no mistake. If you succeed as an affiliate marketer, you’ll have one of the greatest freedoms a job is ever likely to afford you. It’s like having, quite literally, the world at your feet. I’ve been laying down the foundations of my business for what feels like an eternity now, and it’s only next month that I’ll finally begin reaping the rewards.

This December, I’m leaving London and embarking on some serious air-miles to see as much of the world as I can. I’ll be moving to Thailand and basing myself in Bangkok.

Now I know what a lot of you think when I say that I’m moving to Thailand.

It’s normally either:

1. Are you Justin Dupre’s new mystery housemate?
2. Are you moving for the ladycock?

The answer is no and no. Though I bet I could find both at Justin’s house. Come on, man. You don’t have 5000 friends on Facebook without at least a few gender benders slipping through the net. It’s the law of error.

The truth is, just two weeks ago, I was searching for a flat in Central London. There aren’t too many cities more expensive to rent in than London, believe me. I was staring at prices of $3000/month for a small two bedroom squat that a hooker probably died in.

I think it took me witnessing the smarmy look on an estate agent’s face as he insisted I wasn’t going to find any good deals at £1500/month before it dawned on me. What’s the point in even looking? I can afford to pay the premium to live like a king here in London if I really wanted to, but I’d have to be pretty retarded to make that decision. The grass really is greener away from the capital.

As affiliate marketers without office jobs, we have the luxury of moving anywhere in the world and still earning the same money. I’ve been operating with a disadvantage compared to other affiliates for the sheer fact that I live in a city where they charge you 30p to take a piss in a train station. The prices in London are sky-high and my cost of living is probably much greater than what other young affiliates are having to deal with. Obviously I’m discounting those of you with kids and families to support.

I want to get full value for my hard work. Given the choice between frosting my bollocks off in London or stomping around a five bedroom house with a private pool in 30c December heat, it’s pretty much a no-brainer. I hate frosty bollocks.

So I plan to work from a laptop and travel around Asia, experiencing different cultures and living on beaches while the rest of London skids on ice. It’s something I’ve wanted to do ever since I quit my day job. And after months of posting about the brutal home truths of surviving as an affiliate, I guess I should re-address the balance. The rewards of succeeding are totally fucking worth it.

I realize most people don’t come to this blog to read about my travels or to know which corner of the earth I’m currently festering in. So don’t worry. This is just a notice to expect less posts over the next six weeks or so. I will be busy smearing suncream on my titties and getting traditionally burnt to shit like any self-respecting Brit on his travels.

Creating High Demand With A Fake Error Page

A few weeks ago, I set my alarm for 8:30am with thousands of other UK music fans. It didn’t matter that I was hanging like a dog without a bone. I wanted to buy Glastonbury tickets and I knew the usual painstaking process of navigating an online jam on SeeTickets.com.

If you’ve never been sat at your desk trying to buy Glasto tickets, let me explain the process for you.

– Tickets are due to go on sale at 9am.
– Tickets somehow end up going on sale at 8:50am.
– SeeTickets.com couldn’t handle the demand and crashed at 8am.

What usually follows is a three hour F5 mashing session, hopelessly contesting with thousands of other users the chance to buy a ticket that at £185, is bordering on scandalous for a festival where not a single act has been confirmed.

I was one of the lucky ones. After receiving dozens of error messages and “server timed out” notifications, I finally made it to the booking page. I guarantee you this. You’ve never seen somebody fill out a form and hand over their credit card details so quickly in your life.

It wasn’t until my confirmation email arrived that I thought to myself “Actually, that’s quite an effective selling technique”

Frustrate me to the brink of tearing my hair out by not letting me buy something I want. I had a think about the psychology behind it all. On Twitter, I could see Glastonbury trending and thousands of frustrated fans struggling and bitching over their inability to bag a ticket.

It dawned on me that, actually, the Glastonbury organizers couldn’t give a shit how bad the ticketing process is. They probably quite like the sound of a thousand music fans begging for the chance to buy a ticket. It’s the creation of high demand. It adds to the prestige.

This week it happened again. Take That, a group you need not investigate if you don’t already know them by sigh, crashed every ticketing website that was supporting their tour. BBC and Sky News reported on the incident and what happened 24 hours later? The group released ten extra dates! I’m willing to bet that any Take That fan who wasn’t already aware of the concerts, will have rushed out with even more incentive to buy tickets upon hearing the demand.

Creating an illusion of high demand is something that can be applied to your affiliate campaigns too. I started to think about how I could use a scenario similar to a frantic rush to buy tickets. How could I build hype around my service by creating this illusion of such high demand that the user HAD to act now or miss out altogether?

Well, I’m not going to give away my exact creatives. But I came up with a unique slant on my dating landing pages that looked like this:

“PAGE LOAD ERROR!

“We are experiencing an unprecedented high demand from 35-40 year old females to join DatingSiteX.com. We could not process your request.”

“As a result, we are only able to accept another [4] new registrations before *insert your little PHP date script here* when our invitation will be closed.”

Please click here to try our mirror site

The “Fake Error Page”, if you will. A landing page so fiendishly innocent and so clinically effective that I felt bad for even using it. I’ve often enjoyed an upturn in conversions when I’ve put it to the right use. But as with most things affiliate marketing, the money is in the execution.

My intention was firstly to produce a creative that sold the fact that this really was the “next big thing” in terms of dating sites. So your banners are going to be important in that stake. But critically, the landing page was to establish an illusion of high demand. Now let me just say that you’re not going to enjoy much success without a very specific line of approach here. It can’t be a standard error page.

You have to get creative and design something that retains the reader’s attention. And for that, you’re going to have to stop reading this blog and grow your own ideas instead of jacking mine.

Of course, when the user clicks the mirror site link, they get taken straight through to the registration page. Except they’ve had the illusion enforced in their heads that this site really is the dog’s bollocks. Be careful not to use this ploy on the wrong crowd. You don’t want to advertise to tech savvy bastards who take your page load error as a sign of weakness and leave on their high horses.

Nobody wants to miss out and nobody wants to feel left out. It’s a very simple technique. It’s also a technique that needs to be applied VERY carefully to avoid losing too much traffic. When I tell people that I blew X amount of dollars sending traffic to an error page, I’m not always pissed off about it.

There are many other ways to establish an illusion of demand in your service. I’m sure a lot of the guys who’ve published flogs and farticles will be aware of them. Some are misleading, some are just too downright effective for mainstream advertisers ever to dare use them. Either way, you shouldn’t be afraid to get creative and try something different.

Some of the most effective campaigns I’ve come up with have been born out of religiously studying people’s browsing habits. What they do, what they click, why they click it. You can drive yourself to the point of insanity just by watching how people react to various traits of the web around them.

Ironically, as I went to publish this post just ten seconds ago, I received an Internal Server Error.

That’ll be Karma shagging me in the arse.

Are You Telling Or Are You Selling?

Because there’s a big difference.

Good sales copy is an art that’s slowly being forgotten. Lost under the piles of misinformation about traffic sources, how to get the best CTR and whatever else is the current flavour of the month on Affbuzz. I get the distinct impression that affiliates are forgetting the method in their madness. The fact that wherever they buy traffic from, however many eyeballs they drag to a page, you still have to sell the god damn product you’re promoting.

A successful affiliate campaign is like a jigsaw puzzle. You can have all the traffic sources, all the hottest products and all the best ad ideas. But if you don’t piece them together correctly, you’ve got precisely jack shit. And in my opinion, the piece that keeps getting confined to the affiliate’s peripheral vision is the sales copy.

I don’t think many affiliates are actually that competent when it comes to selling what’s in front of them. And it makes perfect sense because, well you know, not many of us went to marketing school. I sure as hell don’t have a degree in the art (or any other art for that matter), but I have taught myself to appreciate the importance of creating a sales funnel.

And so should you.

I don’t know about the rest of the world, but in the UK we’re currently facing a spending crisis where you’ll often hear the term “we need to do more with less”. In a slightly different way, I think affiliates are going to soon hijack that quote and apply it to their own businesses. Prices are rising on traffic sources and it’s no longer as easy to get the same CTRs as you were scoring twelve months ago. So you’re going to have to make the most of your advertising outlay. And the best way to do so, in my opinion, is to stop publishing such shitty amateur landing pages.

Stop assuming that x amount of clicks will equal a sale, no matter how good or bad your landing page happens to be. Start working with the mindset of “How can I maximize the likelihood of a conversion with every single click?”

Good sales copy isn’t only noticeable in it’s ability to turn features in to benefits. I won’t waste my time explaining why that’s important. I’m sure most of you already know. But good sales copy is also adept at highlighting the potential stumbling blocks that could prevent a sale – and then eradicating them from the reader’s thoughts.

This is even more important than selling the benefits of a product. You have to be aware that before you make a sale, or a lead, the reader is weighing up two sides of an argument in his head. “Do I stand to gain more by using this product/service than I stand to lose by not using it?”

Unfortunately for you, nearly every potential customer is more inclined to find reasons NOT to buy a product than he is to find reasons why he should. We’re a generation that’s so trained to the monotone world of advertising that it takes a significantly greater number of incentives to outweigh the modern day consumer concerns.

Now you could argue that the acai berry craze proves the argument to be wrong. There was no shortage of buyers there, right? But I’d attribute the acai boom to some incredibly misleading advertising which sufficiently weighted the argument – for those dumb enough – in to making the risk worthwhile.

Look at three of the biggest concerns to the potential customer, and how affiliates neutralized them to eventually force the sale:

Customer thinks: Well, it sounds like it costs a lot of money to buy these wonder supplements and they might not work.
Affiliate says: Not at all! You can have a FREE trial to see for yourself.

Customer thinks: Well, they sound amazing. But has anybody actually tried them and seen results? Where can I find a review?
Affiliates says: I’ve got a dirty great flog with your name on, baby.

Customer thinks: Okay, it’s cheap to try and people are seeing good results. Why is this the first I’ve heard of it?
Affiliates says: Have you not SEEN my “breaking news” YouTube video? What about my box of copy and pasted “As seen on” TV channel logos?! Pretty sure you’ve just had your eyes closed all this time, fatty.

The way to nail that conversion isn’t to explain extreme weight loss in four weeks, list a bunch of exotic ingredients and hope for the best. But to ANTICIPATE what concerns the reader is reacting to as he/she reads through your copy. And if you can pinpoint the source, you can blast those concerns out of the water.

Before I promote any new product, I like to brainstorm as many questions as possible that a potential customer would have. And sometimes you have to dig a little deeper to really understand what’s going through your target market’s mind when you sell to them.

For example, I was doing a little background research to see what would stop a Facebook user from installing a dating application. I learnt more from that research than I ever learnt from posing the question “what do you look for in a dating application?”

One of the things I discovered was that a large percentage of younger users didn’t want to install a dating application in case their friends found out on their profiles. They didn’t want to be seen as virtual dating sad-acts of the twenty first century. It’s something I would never have worked in to my ad creatives before, but armed with the information, you can probably imagine some of the aggressive sales copies I came up with to combat the fears.

When you’re creating your sales funnel, it’s important to place yourself in the reader’s shoes. And don’t be afraid to ask questions that shoot holes in your existing sales copy. Your sales funnel is effectively a corridor heading towards the conversion. The reader normally can’t be bothered to play along and is looking for the first exit out of there. Poor sales copy leaves doors wide open for the reader to justify leaving at any time. It’s your job to keep those doors bolted shut and direct them towards the end of the corridor where your money is made.

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