The 2 Crippling Fears That Sabotage Your Affiliate Business
How (and When) to Reignite Your Work Day
Where Productivity Ends and Staying Busy Begins

The 2 Crippling Fears That Sabotage Your Affiliate Business

One of the best decisions I ever made was to stop looking for affiliate programs to promote and start thinking about products I could create.

Creating products is the logical progression from affiliate marketing.

Most affiliates arrive at the same conclusion, whether it takes 6 months or 6 years in the trenches, “Why promote somebody else’s million dollar idea when I am quite capable of concocting my own?”

It’s certainly not due to a lack of ability. A better diagnosis would be a lack of faith.

Many affiliates are scared to create.

There are two fears that hold us back. The fear of failure and the fear of success. I’m going to explain both, and what you can do to defeat them.

Why Affiliate Marketing is Easy… and Why Creating is Not

It would be denial to say that playing the lone shark affiliate doesn’t have its advantages.

There’s no such thing as a recession in affiliate marketing. Not when you can change industry in a heartbeat by pausing one campaign and unleashing another.

For much of the last three years, my relationship to affiliate offers could be described as ‘ships passing in the night’.

If product owners are the gigantic ocean cruisers with a fixed path from one coordinate (the land of messy whiteboards) to the next (the land of launched products), affiliates are the pirate ships that loiter in open waters, with no real direction, no real homeland, just a desire to pillage whatever profits come their way.

Affiliate pirates

There are many reasons why we prefer to stay in those open waters.

  • The idea of travelling from A (the whiteboard of ideas) to B (the launched product) requires discipline and planning; a sense of direction.

  • Procrastination feels less criminal when your work requires that you drift aimlessly. We are reactors to opportunity, but rarely the architects.

  • There are no passengers (aka customers or investors) to satisfy when you don’t claim to be going anywhere fast.

Some affiliates are quite happy to operate as Chief Arbitragers of the High Seas.

Most are not.

It’s the nature of any businessman to wish for a sense of direction. We all love the feel-good buzz that a satisfied customer brings, and the idea that someday we might just dock our ships on dry land (sticking our flags in the humble turf of stable profits)

I don’t care what anybody says. Operating on the open seas, as a CPA affiliate marketer does, with virtually no control over the fate of his vessel, is a recipe for severe seasickness. It’s not just the lack of direction that grates us. It’s the uncertainty. Affiliate businesses are prone to go missing in the night, victims of icebergs that were seen too late.

And those of us who have being doing this shit for too long – surviving in limbo, rich but rudderless – know exactly how harmful the resulting sea scurvy can be. Drifting aimlessly affects all parts of our lives: the social isolation, the blood pressure readings, our physical health and mental well-being.

When you have nowhere to be, and nobody to please, you really can drift aimlessly for months, even years.

Some might call that a life of freedom.

When you look beyond the brash talk of being one’s own man, I often find that affiliates are hesitant to create because they lack confidence.

They are paralysed by our two recurring fears:

  • The fear of failure
  • The fear of success

These fears are the twin terrors of procrastination.

The Fear of Failure

What if I fail?

Fear of failure is most likely to arise from low self-confidence, anxiety, and perfectionism.

What stops you from launching that ambitious Facebook campaign? Or that exciting new website?

All too often, perfectionism stops us from creating.

If we accept nothing less than número uno in our industry of choice (and let’s face it, that’s usually the target during initial brainstorming), is it any wonder that we are hesitant to get started? Our expectations are so high.

Time and time again, I see affiliates drowning in information paralysis. How many blogs, ebooks and forums have you read in search of the ‘perfect’ formula?

Why do you do this?

It is usually because we believe that reading enough opinion pieces, and uncovering enough anecdotal evidence, will lower our chances of failure.

Often, the reason we don’t just get shit done and launch that ambitious Facebook campaign is because we are scared of failing; scared of making a wrong decision that could have been avoided with X hours of research.

Those fears are compounded by the fact that so much of online marketing requires investment of both time and money.

The same applies to creating products and launching new websites.

We would rather dither and procrastinate, killing the idea through a lack of action, than throw all our resources in to a project that stands a chance of failing. At least that way we are in control of how and why it fails.

We somehow feel smarter by not confronting our potential. “Well, I know I could have crushed that weight loss campaign for $1000/day, but I certainly didn’t lose any money by not trying!”

This fear has certainly haunted me in the past.

I have found myself stalling on projects for weeks in search of the perfect WordPress theme, or the perfect logo. What looks like procrastination is actually a superficial sign that you have underlying concerns about the project, and/or your ability to deal with its success or failure.

But is it a logical fear?

Most of us know that creating products and services of genuine value is the way forward in 2012. Where I believe we shoot ourselves in the balls is our interpretation of ‘genuine value’.

Genuine value does not have to mean perfection.

I get a lot of people contacting me with fears of creating products and services on the basis that they can’t do a good enough job. Perhaps they aren’t great writers, or great speakers, or they don’t have enough time, or they don’t know what to create.

In nearly all cases, it comes down to:

a) A lack of confidence
b) An obsession with perfectionism that paralyses us from just getting started

My Experience Creating Products

Before I launched Volume 1 in my Premium Post series, I was more than a little apprehensive about the reception it would get.

A number of thoughts crossed my mind:

  • What if readers reject the idea of paying money for my work?
  • What if the material doesn’t live up to their expectations?
  • What if customers slag off my products over Twitter and Facebook?
  • What if I disappoint?

There is no doubt about it. Launching a product with your name on the cover is a personal experience, whether it gets credited to the company account or not.

My biggest fear was that the product wouldn’t be good enough. This manifested itself in to all parts of my work day. Instead of steaming ahead, I found a myriad of ways to keep my feet in the sand.

I didn’t want to make any wrong decisions, so I made none.

How to Overcome the Fear of Failure

Let’s say you want to get over that fear of failure. You want to stop procrastinating and start making some empowering decisions (like “I’m going to create my own product!“), and then actually following them through.

Where do you start?

Given that perfectionism is so closely tied to our procrastination, the first step is to accept that our self worth is not dependent on a single task, project or affiliate campaign.

If your identity is built around the idea that nothing less than perfection will do, there’s only one way you can hold yourself to such high standards: by giving the world no output to judge you by. By doing nothing.

Similarly, if like many affiliate marketers you view yourself as a “self-made entrepreneur, aka the boss“, it’s likely that you will feel great anxiety over the success of a project. It is what defines you as a person.

When Dedication Harms Your Work…

Imagine the unkempt hermit who lives, works and sleeps in his mother’s basement.

His identity is built around succeeding as an online marketer, and he spends every moment projecting that image to the world – on forums, on Facebook, to friends and family.

These individuals, ironically, are some of the most likely to procrastinate – to delay putting their stamp on the world. It is their stamp that defines their sense of value as a person.

The hermit’s self-esteem has become so dependent on his online success that every project is critical. If it fails, then it means he has failed as a person.

When entrepreneurism becomes such an integral part of your self-image, the pressure to do it well increases to an intolerable level. Sooner or later, you find yourself wasting time. You would rather shy away from the creation process than give the world something less than perfect to judge you by.

Procrastination hides your stamp from the world.

Many affiliates are deeply proud of their self-made roots, and with that pride comes a self-assessment that is typically counter productive: “My work reflects my worth

How do you avoid the plague of perfectionism?

The most famous method is to ‘diversify your self-worth’.

If your self-esteem is driven by more than just business success, you will have better supports when it comes to taking risks and handling stress. You can deal with a failed venture because it is not the assassination of your value to the world.

Diversifying your self-worth could mean many things:

  • Leading a rich social life and enjoying the company of your friends
  • Being a good father or mother
  • Being a good daughter or son
  • Learning a new skill and putting it to good use
  • Volunteering and helping the less able
  • Doing a good deed every day
  • Making an effort with strangers

When you establish a self-image that is balanced – one that does not depend on the success of your online business – you will reduce your fear of failure. You will spend less time procrastinating, and less time ‘grinding’ against your will.

Ironically, the best way to gain the confidence for new and challenging projects is to disconnect completely. Build your self-esteem and focus less on work. You will soon notice that work makes you less anxious, and therefore more productive.

The Fear of Success

What if I succeed?

Perhaps an even greater burden to productivity is the omnipresent fear of success.

Many entrepreneurs refuse to accept that their professional stagnation could have anything to do with the fear of success. I think it often has everything to do with it.

Consider these scenarios:

Scenario 1:

John Doe wants to launch a new male fitness website promoting a supplement product. He writes a few useful articles and gets a slow trickle of traffic. As much as he enjoys the initial response and the buzz of his first sale, he soon realises that success is going to take a large commitment of time. John’s friends are already badgering him about his refusal to come out on Friday night – he wonders where he would find such time. John browses his rival’s site and is deflated by the amount of content they produce. He can’t imagine that he would ever manage to replicate the effort, and he worries what effect trying might have on his relationships with family and friends. Instead of producing more content, John slowly disengages from the project feeling. He feels inferior to his rivals (who all have larger budgets and better writers). An advertiser emails John offering to buy banner space for a nice monthly sum but John is now so paralysed at the gulf between his current site and the imaginary site in his head that it feels like enslavement. The prospect of committing to the project is seen as a threat to his lackadaisical lifestyle. He ignores the email, distances himself from the site, and meets his friends on the next Friday night.

Scenario 2:

Jane Doe runs a successful forum for Work at Home Moms and has attracted a large number of dedicated followers. As her fame has grown, the demand for her brand has grown too. She has companies offering to pay her generously for speaking appearances, and one large firm is even willing to double her monthly income by hiring her on a part-time consulting basis. Jane loves her forum, appreciates her members, but fears she couldn’t possibly balance the forum with the new better-paying work. She relies on those friends to help her through motherhood. Instead of seizing the opportunity to advance her career, she rejects the speaking proposals, ignores the consultancy offers, and sticks to what she knows best.

It’s not just failing that scares us.

There’s the thought of what might happen if we actually succeed.

The fear of success is most likely to materialise in those who lack the confidence to test themselves outside their comfort zone. It is also apparent in online marketers who have grown too accustomed to the life of home comforts.

Many of us are guilty of dithering on projects where success has the potential to coax us out of our rabbit holes, and god forbid, in to the real world of meeting rooms and ‘deliverables‘.

Affiliates are terrified to create products because:

a) Succeeding could represent a leap away from anonymously fingering their balls in the basement while reporting to nobody.
b) Failing would be… failing. And many affiliates take that as a damning verdict on their self-worth.

Success is a threat to the easy-going affiliate lifestyle, which creates a subconscious anxiety projected to the world by our endless procrastination.

One of my favourite analogies sums up the resistance perfectly; “Success is like an escalator. Once you get on, there’s no place to get off except at the top.

When you jump on the first step, when you take that leap of faith, you worry that you might not be the same person if you succeed. The ‘successful you‘ comes attached to higher expectations, busier days, and eroded relationships with your family and friends.

It’s irrational – but maybe we are not as keen for success as we like to think?

Drifting aimlessly as an affiliate does, happily pillaging profits, ensures that we never have to jump on the escalator. We maintain full control over our lives, free from outside influence, our resistance ensured and typically masked as “freedom to do what we like!“.

What we sometimes neglect is that the freedom to work from home is no longer a freedom when you are too scared to leave the front door for fear that you might lose what is so comfortable. And predictable.

How to Overcome the Fear of Success

Behind the fear of success you will typically find a simple (and very damaging) learned belief; “I am not good enough.

The source of this false belief varies from individual to individual. It could be the relic of an unstable childhood, a vicious relationship break-up, or a class that you flunked many years ago.

The bottom line is that without pinpointing what exactly you are afraid of, you will continue to procrastinate while digging your heels in the dirt.

LiveStrong has a good ‘troubleshooting’ technique that uses a lifestyle analysis to create self-affirming statements while pinpointing the source of your fears.

Self-affirming statements are used to encourage a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset.

Fixed mindset:I wish I could be a successful online marketer, but I’m useless with technology. I can’t code for shit.

Growth Mindset:To be a successful online marketer, I need to improve my understanding of technology. I’ll start by learning how to code.

The Self-Affirming Statement:I am a fast learner. I achieve whatever I put my mind to

Fixed mindset individuals are terrified of the unknown, which is like being allergic to success.

Do you identify your skill-set as being a ‘part of you’? Or do you view it as ever-changing, ever-improving?

A fear of success – the apprehension about ‘leaving the nest’ – is nearly always traced back to self-affirming statements of negative origin, and a fixed mindset.

For the affiliate marketer, this might be a stubborn resistance to authority (“Working as a consultant goes against my principle of reporting to nobody!”), or it might be the deep-rooted discomfort that creating something means jumping on the success escalator. Once you’re on, you can’t get off.

Either way, you need to isolate the source of your anxiety and resistance. Once you have found it, use self-affirming statements and small achievable goals.

You might not see a change straight away, but with a learned belief that says, “I am getting better“, the fear of success will slowly diminish.

The Action Plan

Can you relate to the twin terrors of failure and success? Have they affected your career decisions, or another part of your life?

If they have, here’s what to do next.

Diversify your Self-Worth – How do you want to be judged as a person? Many online marketers jump straight to the narrative that says “as a fine entrepreneur“. That’s great, but it makes for a pretty uninspiring tombstone. Choose at least two additional roles: be it as a good father, a good friend, a charitable leader, a skilled musician, a talented sportsman, and so on. Pay attention to these roles. Allow them to flourish by setting time aside that is of equal priority to work. Define your success as more than just a talented Internet swindler.

Identify Your Source of Anxiety – Are you scared of the effect success would have on your relationships? Do you resent the idea of losing your playboy affiliate lifestyle? Are you worried that people will judge you to a greater standard, one that makes life so much harder, if you dare to succeed? Identify where your anxiety stems from.

Adopt the Growth Mindset – Entrepreneurs in possession of the magic Growth Mindset are more successful than those with a Fixed Mindset. It’s important we learn to disassociate failure with an attack on our self-worth. Accept failure as a lesson learnt, and a chance to better yourself. Take on new challenges with the perspective of one step closer to success, not one more pie in the face.

Use Self-Affirming Statements – Once you have pinpointed your anxieties, use self-affirming statements to slowly mould your self-esteem by focusing on the positives. Make it a daily ritual until you actually believe them.

Recommended This Week:

  • The Empire Strategy has become the bestselling volume in the Premium Posts series. I owe a major thank you to all of you who’ve snapped it up so far. If you haven’t read it yet, you can grab your copy here. Enjoy!

How (and When) to Reignite Your Work Day

Everybody has a motive to escape the office cubicle. What’s yours?

Maybe you despise the corporate politics, the water cooler bitching, or an insufferably low pay cheque. Perhaps you hate the commute. As a native Londoner with a short fuse for standing in transit, the chance to quit morning train-surfing was one of my great calls to action in life.

It’s our motives to make self-employment a success that sometimes lose their shine once the honeymoon period of surrealism wears off. We forget what drove us to pursue the extra responsibility. We forget why we do what we do. And that’s a shame.

Do you remember when Internet Marketing blew your mind with opportunity?

What would you pay to relive the nostalgia of making your first dollar online, of logging in to Clickbank and seeing a sale that demanded no boss, no commute, and just one moment of individual brilliance?

Our early success is often the most vivid to remember. We appreciated it more. It wasn’t a number to tap in to a profit and loss chart. It was something else: proof that our time splurged on the web had a purpose, a direction, a future. Money could be made online.

Four years on from that awakening, I am used to logging in to my emails and seeing sales. It’s no longer a thrill, but a stat to observe. I get nostalgic over how captivated I used to be. The amazement that Internet Marketing works has been replaced by serious unease at the thought that it might someday not.

If you are new to this industry, and particularly if you have just left a ‘traditional’ job to pursue success, the honeymoon period is one to savour.

Enjoy the First Taste of Self-Sufficiency

Any soul brave enough to exchange the rat race for self-employment, uncertainty and a royally shagged economy deserves a honeymoon period. The initial freedom of working from home provides just that. It’s the perfect opportunity to take one step back, appreciate how lucky you are, before plunging multiple steps forward and busting a ball or three to make the arrangements work.

Nobody wants to suffer the ignomy of returning to a day job just weeks after taking a dump on the concept via Facebook. But it’s healthy to take a moment of reflection. Especially if, like many, your precursor to self-employment has been moonlighting with two jobs. You will want to celebrate and enjoy that first taste of running your own ship. A few months down the line and such luxury is likely to cause inner turmoil.

I want to take a break but I’ve got seven projects, four affiliate managers and an inbox full of hot offers to deal with. Maybe next month.

Inner voice: “Or how about never?

In the weeks after my jump to full-time affiliate marketing, I carefully balanced my time between rolling around semi-naked in home comforts and bragging about the hour my alarm clock was set for. I’ve since learnt that there’s a special look of disgust reserved especially for those who need a wake-up call after 11am.

Two dogs and a loud postman has put an end to my 1-Hour Work Mornings. I now rise with my own time zone and promptly smoke the room out with coffee beans.

You can probably tell a lot about my first taste of self-sufficiency by this photographic evidence of my office from 2009:

Affiliate Marketer at Home

A lot of ‘Changing the World’ going on here…

Archaic laptop barely capable of updating weight loss ads without chugging up fumes, rough unkempt looking bastard at the wheel, blanket making do as a curtain, and animals in the workplace (sitting on wireframes for extra productivity points).

It’s no wonder my very first week as a full-time Affiliate Marketer ended in spectacular confusion with an entire business collapsing around me in piles of Google Suspension notices. But you bet it was exciting.

Nothing beats the adrenaline rush of defining your career destination and then galloping after it like a mad man.

Once you have started that pursuit, it’s very difficult to slow down. At various points along the way, you will reflect nostalgically on the start of your journey and how easier it used to be. This nostalgia is a sign that you need to step back and get in touch with your original reasons for wanting to become self-employed.

Regain the Nostalgia of Working From Home

It’s ‘touch base’ with the soul time.

  • Did you quit your job to spend more time with family, to see more of your kids, to make a better fist of your relationships?

Then why are you locking yourself in the basement and growling thunder at anybody who dares interrupt? If your wife has to push a cold dinner plate under the crack in your office door, it’s probably a sign that you’ve lost touch with your family man aspirations.

  • Did you quit your job to pursue the ultimate financial freedom of earning money while you sleep?

Then why do you never sleep? Do you expect to hit a magic financial figure that suddenly allows you to unwind and enjoy life? What is it?

  • Did you quit your job in awe of that classic quote: “Entrepreneurship is living a few years of your life like most people won’t, so that you can spend the rest of your life like most people can’t.

Then why do you still struggle to find happiness in the top dollar hotel suites that no mortal man would pay for? Why do all of your friends pay less for their thrills?

I believe many of us are guilty of losing touch with our original motives for why we do what we do. Stacking money in a bank vault, like economic growth, is tied to an illusion of grandeur. Neither can go on forever. Your current balance will mean nothing when you hit the grave.

To regain the nostalgia of working from home, we must remind ourselves of what we left behind. And why we left it. For some Internet Marketers, this may even lead to the realisation that your overall happiness was greater when you worked for ‘the man’.

There’s no shame in admitting that. In fact, the joke is on anybody with the balls to suggest otherwise. These are the same self-righteous pricks who believe everybody has to be an entrepreneur. Never mind the economic consequences, hey?

Reigniting your work day may be as simple as taking a train to your old place of work. Or driving there and spending a moment outside the gates. If I ever needed a reminder of the life I’m glad to have escaped, it’s the feeling of being packed in to a tube carriage at 8.49am by Kings Cross St Pancras.

Note: I don’t recommend brooding in the shadows outside your former workplace if you are an ex school teacher. Two words: criminal record.

Another good idea is to disconnect completely from technology for 24 hours.

We live in a world where instant notifications are pushed under our noses by multiple sources, on multiple devices at every hour of the day. It’s mission impossible for an Internet Marketer to ignore the noise when his profession has a voice in it.

By disabling your iPad, silencing the phone, and stepping away from the computer, you can begin to come to terms with what you’re left with.

If you find yourself standing lamely, scratching your balls for entertainment, there’s a good chance you need a second passion to give work new meaning. The nostalgia we associate with our first taste of self-employment has nothing to do with the work. It has everything to do with the sense of excitement, the new roads to explore, the not knowing what tomorrow might bring.

Once the honeymoon period wears off and working from home becomes your accepted reality, you need to seek the same excitement away from your screen.

We shouldn’t be afraid.

For most of us, it’s what we signed up for.

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  • Be sure to check out Adsimilis, the official sponsor of Premium Posts Volume 5 & 6. Adsimilis is one of the most effective networks in the world for a CPA marketer to sink his teeth in to. They are particularly dominant in the dating vertical, with industry leading payouts. If you are a dating affiliate, you need to be on Adsimilis. Simples.

Where Productivity Ends and Staying Busy Begins

At about 9pm on most nights, I find myself detouring from the productive tasks I’ve been grinding away at during the day. My attention will begin to sag, and my browser will find its way back to Facebook or Twitter with increasing regularity.

9pm is where my productivity ends and staying busy begins.

There’s a huge difference between productive work and work that simply keeps you busy. Arguably that difference is life and death, living and slaving. When work becomes a matter of passing idle time, our mental breakdown is soon to follow. It’s the magic cocktail for exhaustion, depression and a tunnel with no light.

How do you know that you’re working to stay busy?

  • You have 17 tabs active on your web browser. Four of them are Facebook, 1 of them is Twitter, and the rest are a combination of BBC Sport stories and Wikipedia entries on the First World War.

  • Your workflow consists of a juggling act between refreshing Facebook for new clicks on your ads, then skipping back to your control panel to see how many of the clicks have converted. You slip away in disgust at your lack of revenue, crack open a new browser on Mashable, and then repeat the same bloody process 4 minutes later. Probably in a new tab.

  • You cruise through the entire database of gigs on Fiverr, despite having no precise idea of what you’re looking to buy. You just know that you’re missing something important, and it’s being snapped up by your competition. Of course, your competition doesn’t have a name or a face. It’s simply a projected vision of your own self if only you were working twice as hard.

  • You invest an aimless hour of your time in to ‘figures projection’. Yes, this is the useless affiliate art of taking his stats from Day A and B, then multiplying them by a combination of 30, 90 and 365 to find out how rich he’ll be 1 month, 3 months and 1 year from now. I have done this many times and it has never worked. Ever.

  • You refresh your bloody Gmail! To hear from who, I have no idea. Perhaps the National Lottery’s unclaimed millions department…

  • You click on link after link of mildly stimulating headlines, knowing all too well that the information to follow is a rehash of a thousand similar articles you’ve already eyeballed to death. You know the information can’t possibly help you, or it would have done 5 months ago. But you read it anyway. Why? Because ‘staying busy’ is better than being stationed away from the computer screen, where the magic email that says you’ve finally ‘made it’ can’t land.

Do any of these symptoms sound familiar?

Learning to recognise this transition in your day is the key to understanding where productivity ends and staying busy begins. Once you’ve pinpointed the divide, you have half a chance at correcting it.

I’m not saying recognition alone is a cure. We are highly trained creatures of habits. It’s all too easy to convince ourselves that time is being spent effectively, even when it’s clearly being spunked down the drain – along with that nutritious delicious Rustlers burger you ate in all of about 14 seconds.

Tip: Want an indication of how ‘busy’ you feel? Take a look at how quickly you eat. If you attack your meals like a wolf at a tea party, there’s probably a little voice in the back of your head singing, “Hey, you, don’t you have some place to be?

We are fixated with the idea that doing something is better than nothing. But guess what? That’s a steaming pile of horse shit. And you know it.

Doing nothing and shutting the hell up is important for many reasons. Not least because it gives your brain a chance to digest the ticking matrix of data and meaningless tasks that have bumrushed your day.

Here’s a challenge.

Take 5 minutes. Sit your arse down away from the computer screen, and be silent.

What happens? Where does your mind go? What thoughts bubble to the cusp of your imagination?

Treasure them. They are the silent streaks of creativity that are routinely pummelled in to submission by the constant stream of diarrhoea you willingly subject your mind to.

Without silence there is no context. Without silence there is no opportunity to disconnect from the day and regain control of where it’s heading. So, if you’ve reached the tipping point where staying busy is your only desire – stop. Disconnect.

Go outside and shut the fuck up.

Everything will make more sense when you return.

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  • If you haven’t downloaded it already, make sure you grab a copy of my freshly brewed Affiliate Marketer’s Survival Kit (add your email below for access). It’s 50 pages of up-to-the-second info on what currently works in affiliate marketing.

  • Be sure to check out Adsimilis, the official sponsor of Premium Posts Volume 5. Adsimilis is one of the most effective networks in the world for a CPA marketer to sink his teeth in to. They are particularly dominant in the dating vertical, with industry leading payouts. If you are a dating affiliate, you need to be on Adsimilis. Simples.

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