Finch's Tedious Rants | Finch Sells

Why I’m Trading London For Thailand

Nov 06 2010

The great appeal of affiliate marketing, besides scratching my balls in bed at 10am, is undoubtedly the ability to do my work anytime anyplace anywhere. For 18 months now, I’ve been preaching the harsh realities of running your own business. How the dream is not always what it’s cracked up to be. How it takes hard work, a lot of patience and no end of creativity to remain successful.

Well, it’s easy for me to sell the problems. But what about the rewards?

Make no mistake. If you succeed as an affiliate marketer, you’ll have one of the greatest freedoms a job is ever likely to afford you. It’s like having, quite literally, the world at your feet. I’ve been laying down the foundations of my business for what feels like an eternity now, and it’s only next month that I’ll finally begin reaping the rewards.

This December, I’m leaving London and embarking on some serious air-miles to see as much of the world as I can. I’ll be moving to Thailand and basing myself in Bangkok.

Now I know what a lot of you think when I say that I’m moving to Thailand.

It’s normally either:

1. Are you Justin Dupre’s new mystery housemate?
2. Are you moving for the ladycock?

The answer is no and no. Though I bet I could find both at Justin’s house. Come on, man. You don’t have 5000 friends on Facebook without at least a few gender benders slipping through the net. It’s the law of error.

The truth is, just two weeks ago, I was searching for a flat in Central London. There aren’t too many cities more expensive to rent in than London, believe me. I was staring at prices of $3000/month for a small two bedroom squat that a hooker probably died in.

I think it took me witnessing the smarmy look on an estate agent’s face as he insisted I wasn’t going to find any good deals at Â£1500/month before it dawned on me. What’s the point in even looking? I can afford to pay the premium to live like a king here in London if I really wanted to, but I’d have to be pretty retarded to make that decision. The grass really is greener away from the capital.

As affiliate marketers without office jobs, we have the luxury of moving anywhere in the world and still earning the same money. I’ve been operating with a disadvantage compared to other affiliates for the sheer fact that I live in a city where they charge you 30p to take a piss in a train station. The prices in London are sky-high and my cost of living is probably much greater than what other young affiliates are having to deal with. Obviously I’m discounting those of you with kids and families to support.

I want to get full value for my hard work. Given the choice between frosting my bollocks off in London or stomping around a five bedroom house with a private pool in 30c December heat, it’s pretty much a no-brainer. I hate frosty bollocks.

So I plan to work from a laptop and travel around Asia, experiencing different cultures and living on beaches while the rest of London skids on ice. It’s something I’ve wanted to do ever since I quit my day job. And after months of posting about the brutal home truths of surviving as an affiliate, I guess I should re-address the balance. The rewards of succeeding are totally fucking worth it.

I realize most people don’t come to this blog to read about my travels or to know which corner of the earth I’m currently festering in. So don’t worry. This is just a notice to expect less posts over the next six weeks or so. I will be busy smearing suncream on my titties and getting traditionally burnt to shit like any self-respecting Brit on his travels.

18 Months On From Quitting My Job…

Oct 16 2010

It’s now 18 months since I quit my day job. I guess the cliche thing to say would be that it feels like only yesterday. Well it doesn’t. All those vivid memories of clearing my office desk, elbowing a small mountain of coffee cups in to the trash, and setting off to live the dream. They’re pretty distant to say the least.

It’s hard to explain the things that go through your mind when you say goodbye and take your final commute home from the day job you hope you’ll never have to live again. It’s a combination of optimism, luxury and – in my case, at the time – a slightly paralyzing fear of “Oh shit, did I just quit my job in a recession?”

For those of you striving to make that dream a reality, I won’t shit on your parade. The first few weeks of rolling out of bed and being your own boss are like a paradise. But if you’ve been following this blog and reading my own journey, you’ll know that I’ve never been one to hold back from posting about the downsides.

But then, I’ve been facing several battles with myself that probably neutered any sense of reality. Most people would drop their day jobs in a second to have this luxury. And it’s something that I’m slowly starting to appreciate after the post-novelty trauma of adapting to working from home.

The most important lesson I’ve learnt so far is the importance of establishing relationships in an industry where trust and respectability are hard to come by. There’s always the temptation to become a profit scalping recluse. The kind of bastard who moves from pseudonym to pseudonym just to survive on the traffic sources that want him banned for life, only to pop up on WickedFire every now and then asking “How can I get a new Adwords account?”

This is the kind of bridge burning that can cost an affiliate dearly. And it’s the type of relationship that I showed no respect for whatsoever in my early days. When I entered the industry, I didn’t give a flying fuck how many search engine TOS guidelines I broke, or how many people I mislead with morally dubious advertisements. And it’s through a minor miracle, and some extremely exhaustive processes, that I can sit here and say that I still have access to every ad platform I might need in the future.

Other affiliates aren’t so lucky. Many are banned from Google, while a who’s who list of ballers are indefinitely exiled from Facebook. And even though last year’s profits might suggest it was worth it while it lasted, I would beg to differ. If you continuously exploit your relationships with these traffic sources, you’re inadvertently placing a clenched fist up your own arsehole. I promise you, one morning it will begin to hurt.

There is so much more value to coexisting with the Facebooks and Googles of this world, rather than forever ducking from their crosshairs. Are you happy to spend the rest of your days wincing whenever your Gmail shows a (1) because you know you’ve been a naughty boy?

I know many affiliates live and swear by the argument “Hey! It’s easy to get back on traffic sources – even if I’m banned for life! They’ll never catch me with my mum’s credit card, right? Wanna see how Gerard got ripped in 300?”

Well, yeah, I guess it’s easy to tell a girl you love her and then screw her over again. Sooner or later she’s gonna tear off your balls for going to the well too many times. You shouldn’t keep fucking with Facebook or Google’s little heartstrings. As impetuous as they may seem, your efforts are probably better spent holding hands and taking the next guideline changes with a sour lemon face but a long term vision. It’s better to be with than without where traffic sources are concerned.

At some point in the last 18 months, I started looking at my work as a business rather than a money making scheme. A different attitude is required to each. And I’m not saying you should agree with my own decisions, because some people ARE in this for the quick cash. In fact, ten minutes with the average Internet Marketer and it dawns on me how those of us who are actually here to build a business are the grand fucking minority. It’s an industry dominated by retards chasing a dream.

I’ve picked up certain tricks and exploits that could have netted me an absolute fortune in this last year. But they compromise my relationships with networks, traffic sources, advertisers, and the people who’d be reading my ads. If I was running a money making scheme, I probably wouldn’t give a shit. But I’m trying to build a business, so I’ve learnt to think differently. It’s just not worth getting greedy and burning your bridges.

I’m actually really excited about the next 18 months, thanks to the pursuit of some new projects that I genuinely believe in. In drawing up my business plans, it’s dawned on me the true value in having traffic sources like Google and Facebook at my disposal. I’m lucky to still have that luxury, and I’d be getting my little titties in a twist if I didn’t.

If you’re going to burn your bridges, make sure you bank a hell of a lot of money to justify the sacrifice. It’s a reckless streak you might end up regretting somewhere down the line.

Connect to me, baby

Do you have a UK based blog covering similar themes to this site? I’m currently looking for guest posting opportunities. If you’d be interested in letting me post a piece for your site, please get in touch via email.

Looking for more affiliate advice? Want to read the 140 character drivel of somebody who actually makes money on the Internet? Follow me on Twitter. If you haven’t already subjected yourself to enough of my bullshit, please feel free to add me to your RSS

Entrepreneurs Who Still Manage To Suck At Life

Sep 22 2010

I’ve just got done reading an article over on John Chow’s blog about why you suck if you don’t want to become an entrepreneur. I was left so cold by this relentless drivel that I felt compelled to write my own piece on the subject.

The basic gist of the article, when I break it down in to three points is this:

1. The farmer’s son will grow up to be a farmer, and the banker’s son will grow up to be a banker.
2. It’s the farmer’s fault that his son takes this “unsuccessful” path.
3. Everybody should chase the American Dream of being an entrepreneur since money and financial freedom are at the core of happiness.

And from these assumptions, I’ve developed my own assessment of the guest poster:

1. He thinks people without father figures have no right to grow up to be anything at all.
2. He doesn’t need farmers. I’m guessing he spunks in his coffee and eats his own bullshit brand cheeseburgers for lunch.
3. He’s young and naive, or young and shallow. I can’t decide.

There is nothing I hate more in an entrepreneur than the attitude that they’ve found the only path leading to happiness in life. It’s complete and utter bullshit. You don’t have to be rich, famous and wiping your arse with dollar bills to be considered a success. The sheer idea that quitting college and setting up your own business is the BEST option for youngsters just leaves me shaking my head and itching for a facepalm.

Personally speaking, that’s exactly what I’ve done. I dropped out of college at 16, quit my day job as soon as I could and started my own business. Well whoopty fucking doo for me, unfortunately my autobiography would never make for the soundest advice to other young adults out there. Because everybody is different and there are many ways to skin the cat we call life.

I know through answering emails that I have people reading this blog who come from vastly different walks of life to myself. I’ve spoken to other affiliates and entrepreneurs. But also to lawyers, web designers, journalists, car mechanics and even hair stylists. Many people are interested in getting in to affiliate marketing – or simply reading about it – but it doesn’t mean we as affiliates are anymore likely to end up happy and successful.

And yet many entrepreneurs, young and naive like this guy, will talk down on those hard working individuals who haven’t plied their craft in to building something for themselves. Most of the people I speak to about affiliate marketing don’t even want to! They’d just like to make a bit of money on the side while they chase their dreams of becoming a doctor, a musician, an actor…or whatever.

I’ve yet to find a qualified professional with a degree or an academic background who’s felt the need to turn round to me and say “Damn Finch, I wish I’d dropped out of school at 16 like you”. Or even better yet, as this guy seems to be suggesting: “I wish I’d studied at home on the Internet instead of going to university.”

He paints a picture of doom and gloom for any kid born in to a farmer’s family. And yet he completely neglects that a farmer’s son doesn’t grow up idolizing the corporate banker or the successful entrepreneur. He grows up proud to be what he is. His dreams and interpretations of success defined by those around him. There’s a little thing called “appreciating where we came from”. And it doesn’t matter if you’re a successful entrepreneur, there are people out there who are just as happy living under completely different circumstances.

Yes, we should all aspire to gain more “financial knowledge” or whatever this dude is smoking. But financial knowledge, or being sensible with money – as I’d like to assume he’s trying to imply – doesn’t depend on how much actual bloody money you have. I know people who have had thousands handed to them and they’ve blown it recklessly. At the same time I know people surviving on pennies and pounds who couldn’t be any happier with the direction they’re heading.

It all comes down to personal ambition and more importantly, staying humble enough to appreciate that your own journey isn’t the only one that matters. Or works.

The sheer notion of “money = success” is enough to tell me that the guy who posted this nonsense hasn’t really lived. It’s the juvenile talk of a young entrepreneur who understands how to make money, but has no understanding of it’s worth. I make more money than all of my friends but no matter how many notes I add to my bank vault, I’d expect my success to be judged by how happy I am in an empty room.

Some people are born to be entrepreneurs. Some people are born to be team players. But until you show me such a thing as a one man economy, it’s pretty clear that one can’t exist without the other. I don’t think it truly matters what you choose to become, only that you get up in the morning with a reason to be.

Connect to me, baby

Looking for more affiliate advice? Want to read the 140 character drivel of somebody who actually makes money on the Internet? Follow me on Twitter.